Four Letter Word In Our House

Four letter word. Not what you think. In our house the biggest four letter word there is is TAKS (Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills). This test has been the biggest thorn in my side for the past 3 years.

My oldest son, Zach has a severe form of dyslexia. He finished his 3 years of language retraining through the Scottish Rite Program offered at his school. We have seen good results but we were told he would never be a great reader due to the severity of his dyslexia but he would have adequate reading skills. I would say that that is exactly were he is at. But, let me tell you, dyslexic kids mixed with standardized test is just not a good combo. I can honestly say the only thing this series of test have done are crushed the spirit of my child.

This testing process, I feel has not only hurt my son, but that Texas students are being cheated out of a good education. School administrators are stressed about their districts results, therefore they put pressure on the teachers to get the students to pass. This results in the teachers teaching to the test and not giving our students a good, well rounded education, never mind the stress the students get put on them to perform like puppets in a puppet show. (Area physicians I know tell me stress related illnesses such as stomach aches and headaches increase in school aged children this time of year due to the pressure our young students are facing). There is something wrong with this picture.

Our children are stuck in these little TAKS learning boxes. They can't function outside the box. Now wonder why the younger generations are having such issues. They don't get taught common sense because they don't get put in everyday life studies because there is not enough time in the day. They must cram as much TAKS junk into the day that they can.

My son is a beautiful, tender hearted, sweet, compassionate, christian young man that has been made to feel like a failure due to this test. I have to continually convince him that in no way does his performance on these test going to determine the person he is going to be. His label of himself is that he is stupid and dumb. He calls himself these names at least once a week. He has stated more than once that he would trade all his athletic ability in order not to have dyslexia. I told him that God does not make mistakes. He has made Zach the way he is for a reason. So to all of you who are dealing with this same four letter word, know I am feeling your pain.

"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

My Dad

Today is a special day to me. It is a day of remembrance of my Dad. My dad, John Robert Lowrance left this earth April 8, 2002. I think back to that day often with some sadness but in odd way with some peace.

My dad struggled with kidney cancer for 6 years. Most of those years were good years. He was able to continue working at his business he so loved, travel and see all the grandchildren he was to have arrive on this earth. Even though I was sad for my dad to leave I know he had suffered so much that the peace he had at the end brought me some comfort.

When I look at this picture, that is how I remember him. Sitting at his desk at his business, talking with customers who knew that they could trust him, watching him get a breaker box ready or splice wire to get a Red Jacket submersible pump ready to go so his customer could get some water.

I do miss the fact that my dad is missing my boys growing up. I know how much he would love to watch Zach playing all his sports. He was such a sports fan. As Zach grows older, I see more and more of him in Zach. I recently looked at some childhood photos of my dad at about Zach's age. They both have that eye squint and have the same expression on their faces. I see his quiet presence in Hayden. Hayden is like him in that way. Not much on words but usually when speaking they have something important to say. Hayden is an avid reader like him. My dad would read every paper he could get his hands on front to back usually 2 or 3 times.

So here is to my dad. I miss him so but know one day we will be reunited in the way God wants us to be. But until then, I will think of him fondly and hold him close to my heart as I see him in my boys.

Are You Listening?

When was the last time you heard from God? Think about it. Has God's still, small voice been drowned out by the constant noise from work, family, church and friends? I know sometimes the noise is too much for me.
What can we do to be ready to hear God's voice? For one thing we need to be faithful and obedient servants. We must be ready to respond to Him just as Samuel was. Samuel was in the right place to listen. Are you? I know I am not always. We must have the posture that invites God to speak to us: faithful, obedient, humble, waiting and receptive.
If we want to hear God speak we must try to prepare ourselves to be ready. Be prepared when you are in a place of sanctuary; as you lay awake in the early morning hours, while you wait in the car to pick up your children(this tends to be my place), or on an evening walk. Try to let go of the mental noise we all suffer from, wait in faithful, obedient readiness. When God calls your name, respond, "Speak, Lord , for your servant is listening." Don't miss it. Don't just go through your quiet time because you know that is something your supposed to do. Really listen.
"O Lord Almighty, blessed is the man who trust in you." Psalm 84:12

Great Times

From Sept of 2000 until June of 2006 I worked in the Labor & Delivery unit @ UMC here in Lubbock. I can honestly say that those years were some of the best of my life. The friendships and relationships that grew out of that time I will never forget. I remember when I made the decision to come from the dept I was in (NICU for 5 yrs) to L&D. I was very nervous because all I had dealt with straight out of nursing school was babies not with the adult mamas they came from. I was immediately made to feel welcome and I learned the art of L&D nursing from some of the best.

I soon discovered that the people I was working with were just not going to be my co-workers but my second family. It all began at the top with Ruth (best nurse manager, hands down). She had the unique ability to be your boss when she needed to be, but you knew she was your friend first. With that type of boss the trickle down effect went to all of the staff. We would sometimes get on each other nerves, just as family does, but when it came down to it, we were there for each other. We were truly a team that worked hard to help each other. There were days of blood, sweat and tears but at the end of the day we knew we had done a good job. We helped birth each others children, went through each others tragedies and triumphs, and just loved having coffee together and just really knowing each other and our families.

We always dreaded July 1st because here would come all the new residents. We knew it would be a trying time but I like to feel that we had some hand in developing these young doctors into fine physicians. We had some wonderful attendings but we really love Dr. Mac and Dr. F-S. I am proud to call them friends still today. There were wonderful and some not so wonderful residents. We know who they are. Who can forget the family practice residents. They always knew the way to our hearts, bring us pens from the med reps. They knew we would take care of them.

So here is to all the women I worked with and some of the men. I am going to attempt to name you guys but if I leave you out don't take offense, you were a great part of my life: Ruth, Kat, the big L ,the Lori's, Lucille ,Ginger, Carla, Chris, J'Layne, Kyle, Kevin, Christina, the Deb's, Amanda, the Darlene's, The Tammy's, Bev, JJ, Cindy, Sharon B., Bridgett, Irma, Jo, Sonya, Kelly,The Rebecca's, the Melissa's, Linda, Denise, the Katey's, Sid, Loli, Holly, Micah, and the one we lost, Barbara, how we miss you.

This past Sunday, I had the pleasure of having dinner with some of the individuals. It was such a great time. We must do it more often. It is nice to know that even though some of us have moved away, retired, work together in a different place and those that continue in L&D, that we still come together from that common bond we share. God never makes mistakes, he puts us where we need to be for the time we need to be and I am grateful for the time he put me there. I raise my glass to these fine people and know I will always care for you all.

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." Jesus. John 15:13

Easter Fun and Questions

My boys had a great time coloring Easter eggs on Saturday evening. I treasure these times with them for I know before I know it they will be grown and gone living their own lives. We enjoy engaging in the traditional things of Easter such as coloring eggs, hunting eggs and our little one still enjoys the Easter Bunny (the truth be known, our older one does too even though he will never admit it). However, we make sure that we do not lose focus of what Easter is really about.

My husband and I were discussing the fact that it does not seem that people put the emphasis on Easter that they should. When you get down to it, I feel that Easter should be just as big of a holiday as Christmas or even bigger. Granted, Jesus had to be born for the events of salvation to occur, but when you think of the sacrifice that He went through for us. I just can't even imagine. We all know we would lay our lives on the line for our children or other loved ones but would we be willing to do the same for strangers or for someone who had wronged us? So at this time of year I am thankful for what Christ has done for me and I will try to never take it for granted as I have before. Please Lord, keep me strong.

"It is finished." Jesus Christ (John 19:30)

National Tragedy

During this day and time of many national tragedies such as increasing gas prices, the mortgage crisis, presidential elections, the war in Iraq and illegal alien issues I have felt compelled to write on the national tragedy of America's favorite past time---Baseball.

Baseball, truly God's game. As much as I love football in this crazy football state of Texas, there is just something about spring baseball; not the 102 degree summer ball but the spring kind, where the sun shines bright in the big blue sky but the breeze is still a little crisp. Even though the steroid scandal is putting a shadow over the professional ranks, I am more concerned with baseball on a much smaller scale. African-American youngsters and little league baseball.

As I stated in my very first blog entry, my husband had been asked to coach in the MLK little league here in Lubbock. After making sure our soon to be 12 yr-old son was okay about playing in the league, my husband decided he would take the offer. The problem with this league is that there is not a lot of parental participation and the turn out for the kids is often low. We knew things would be different than other leagues our son has played in. Usually too much parental involvement.

We didn't know exactly how different until tryouts started a few weeks ago. There has been a shortage of kids signing up. In the 11 and 12 yr-old division we have yet been able to fill 4 teams. This has been somewhat frustrating since every other little league in town (5 in total) have more kids than they can handle. I know financial issues is part of the problem. A kid can play basketball with just a hoop and a ball, where baseball takes much more. We have many kids coming to play with no glove. We have loaned out many and through our church should be able to supply more.

The kids we have on our team have been great. Many have never even played before but are very willing to learn. It has been my husband's goal to try increase their interest in the game and to learn some lessons on and off the field as well. It is hard to compete with football and basketball with the marketing tools and money that are invested in them. Baseball just doesn't get the glamour appeal of the other two. We just want these kids to be proud to play a game that so many sacrificed for them to play like Jackie Robinson, Satchel Paige and many others.

We know God has lead us down this road and we know He has a grand plan for us to follow. Think of these young men this season as they prepare to learn this game. Go 2008 MLK Red Socks!

"Ain't no man can avoid being born average, but there ain't no man got to be common."

"Don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines"

both by Satchel Paige

Dirt Roads

As a child growing up in the country I spent many days outside playing. Sometimes taking walks on the dirt back roads. Those of you who grew up as I did will recall the feeling of walking on those dusty roads. Sometimes the roads were very rocky and your steps would be uneven and other times the road would be smoother and you would have a rhythmic sound going and you would stay in step. I think our walk with Christ can be the same, sometimes a little jagged and rough and other times you are right in step.

We know we must continually tune in to the voice of the Spirit and follow His lead but how difficult it can be. The Spirit moves us to places where we might not feel comfortable, to step back when we want to go forward and vice versa. Sometimes that rhythm is too slow or too fast. By following the Spirit we have to resist the urge to live life our way and relinquish control.

There are certain situations that it can be so hard to follow the Spirit. It can be so difficult not to follow the popular trend of society and do things that it says is okay to do. When you feel you have been wronged or unappreciated to let go of resentment. When the enemy is perched on your shoulder and is chatting in your ear and tries to convince you it is no big deal if you do it this time. You can always make it up later. This causes such a battle between the flesh and Spirit.

We have to come to a point where we need to ask ourselves, "Who am I being led by?" My self, with it emotions, worries, pride, fears, and selfishness? Am I being led by the enemy or am I being lead by the Holy Spirit?

Every time we move with the Spirit we are saying yes to God. We become no longer bound by the wants of our flesh or the dark one whom is perched on our shoulder and promises us such grand things only to crush us. We can choose to be moved by the Spirit.

"But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law...Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit." Galatians 5:18,25